


Broken

by Fibi94



Series: Charmed One Shots [9]
Category: Charmed (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, old trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 13:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21477217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fibi94/pseuds/Fibi94
Summary: Macy realizes the illusion the darklighter put up, and decides to learn more about him. This was written before episode 5 aired, and of course canon shattered it to pieces but I posted it anyway.
Relationships: Harry Greenwood/Macy Vaughn
Series: Charmed One Shots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1471937
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Broken

“Is there something wrong?” he asks, Macy looks at him, his face is so similar to Harry, the same really, so much so that sometimes she could just pretend he was her Harry. She takes a deep breath, her back touching the locked door, “You’re not Harry, are you?” the smile falls from his face, she sees the carefully placed mask slipping just a tiny bit, and in that moment he looks so much like her Harry it takes her breath away. 

He walks back and sits down in the book nook, burying his face in his hands, “What’s so special about him?” he asks, his voice muffled by his hands, he raises his head and faces her, “We’re the same, he and I” he says, Macy bites her lip, against all better judgment she walks closer to him.  What he said, about him and Harry being the same, makes her curious, she figured out long ago that he wasn't a simple shapeshifter, if he was, he wouldn't know the safe word after all. She sits down next to him, her hands clutched tightly in her lap, “The fact that this door is locked, proves that you’re not, Harry, the real one, he would never, ever lock that door” he looks at her, his eyes confused but still, somewhere in the darkness she can see Harry, it’s confusing her so much, so much actually that she reaches over, a hand touching his shoulder, “What’s your name?” she asks, “I imagine it’s  not Harry right?” he chuckles and shakes his head, “You don't understand do you, Harry Greenwood is a fraud, a lab experiment, a” he stops, catching himself before he said anything else, “My name is James, James Westwell.” Macy nods, she tries not to think what he said about Harry, she really does. 

“James,” the name rolls off her tongue with difficulty, “I don’t see Harry as an experiment, he’s not, James Westwell died, he’s in the past, Harry is the future.” James scoffs “You don’t know him, hell the bastard doesn’t even know himself.” he looks away, Macy can see he’s ready to leave, she reaches over and grabs his wrist, “Then tell me.” he looks shocked from her hand gripping his wrist tightly to her face, confusion overwhelming his face, “Tell me what I need to know about Harry, and about James, you insist you two are the same, so go on, tell me.” James stands silent, his lips parting a little, “Are you sure Macy, are you sure you want to know? it’s the farthest thing from a fairy tale after all.” he says, Macy stands up, walking closer to him, just like she did a couple weeks back in the command center, with Harry, “I know, I know it’s not a fairy tale, I still want to know.” 

He nods, “Let me start a fire then.” he says walking to the fireplace behind them, Macy releasing her grip on his wrist, “I’ll bring some tea.” she says walking to the kitchen, “Or stronger” she hears him whisper as she disappears.

She preps two cups for them, slipping a little scotch in his cup, she adds a little more than Harry usually likes, but he did ask for something stronger than tea after all, and returns to the book nook, James had started the fire and was sitting at the small couch, his eyes focused on the flames,”I’m back” she says, she learned better than to sneak up on Harry and she imagines James is no less jumpy and maybe a little more paranoid than Harry, his head snaps her way, for a small moment terror flew through him, before his eyes soften again, he tries to smile at her but it’s a little hollow. She passes him his mug and he brings it to his nose, “You added scotch.” he whispers.

“Harry likes it that way, I thought you might too.” he nods and takes a sip, “Yeah, I do.”

She kicks off her shoes and pulls her knees to her chest, back touching the wall behind her for comfort, “Well?” she says, he looks up from the cup, “What do you want to hear first, the good, the bad or the ugly?” he tries to make it light, she can see him trying to make it sound like a joke but he fails, she can see the pain in his eyes, he doesn't want to be telling her the truth any more than she would like to hear it. “Start from the beginning, make me understand.” he looks at her a smile turns into a chuckle as his eyes close and his head turns to the ground.

“I was born in 1920, March, somewhere between the tenth and twentieth of the month, my mother died three weeks after birth, she was a kind woman, smart, beautiful, my grandmother raised me, her name was Willa, she was tough as nails, strict but loving, my father he was… really a shadow of himself, or so she told me. For the first years, he was withdrawn, liked to sit alone smoke drink, he wouldn't bother us much, until she died too. I was twelve.” Macy bites her cheek, she has a feeling where this is going and she doesn’t like it, the thought of Harry, her sweet, kind Harry going through so much at such young age is killing her. “My father was left taking care of me alone, and let’s say there wasn't a type of abuse he didn’t like, verbal, physical, emotional, he was especially keen in the physical part, he broke my arm two weeks after her funeral, I lost count of the black eyes, bruises.” James stops, she watches him carefully as he brings the cup to his lips, looking for any sign he might be lying to her, but she finds none, “I ran away from home when I was fourteen, stole ten pounds, all he had at the moment while he was passed out drunk on the ratty chair he used. Went to London, I got a job at a small theater, told them I was seventeen, no one was asking for papers back then, 1934, you were as old as you said you were. They didn't care that much, and luckily for me I looked quite older.” she wants to ask him what happened next, she wonders how a child just fourteen survived in the big city but she’s terrified of talking, she doesn't know what she will hear as the answer, what she heard so far has made her feel almost sympathy for the man in front of her, she doesn't want to risk it. 

“You’re wondering how I survived aren't you?” James asks, she looks down, he is very good reading her, “There were always some rich viewers that needed some company, a pretty face to keep around.” Macy was right, the truth was worse than she imagined, it makes her sick, she wants to scream, she wants to run home and wrap Harry in a cocoon, never to be seen by anyone with evil intent, never to be hurt again. Never before in the time she’s known him she was glad he didn’t remember his human life. “Most of them, high society ladies that lost their sons in the first world war, they didn’t want that.” he says “But some did,” she says, her voice breaking at the end. “A couple. But I’m not stupid Macy, I let them watch, think they’ll get what they paid, get them drunk and take off with their wallet.” a sardonic smile appears on his face, it snaps Macy back to reality, the reality in which this man is far more damaged than she had ever imagined. “Most of them, were so deep in the closet as they say, they never reported it, of course there those that would hire thugs to beat the shit out of me, but hey it was nothing I wasn't used to.” 

“How long did that last?” she asks, Macy doesn't want to hear anything else, when he told her it was ugly, he wasn't lying.

“Till the war, I enlisted as soon as I could. I was in His Majesty’s army. Killing these Nazi bastards is the one thing I’ll never regret in life. About three months after I enlisted I got recruited by the now MI-6. You don’t want to know what I did with them, trust me.” Macy nods, it’s not that she doesn't want to know, she does, but right now with her stomach feeling still a little queasy she’s not sure she can handle it. “When did you meet Clara?” she asks, James smiles “We were thirteen, right before I ran off, she was my first kiss, I didn't see her until after the war. I couldn’t tell her the truth, so I told her I was working a desk job for the government. I tried to protect her, but...” Macy notices his eyes glazing, he’s getting lost in the memories, memories that are still torturing him, she knows that look on his face a little too well, she had seen it on Harry after he came back from Tartarus “We kept fighting, I couldn’t tell her the truth, it would only put her in more danger. I had to disappear for weeks at a time for work, I tried being careful not being seen with other women, but I slipped, when you came around I slipped.” his brow is frowned a little, Macy looks at him shocked, “Me? What do you mean?” she asks him, she isn't sure this isn't just another mind game he is playing but she is intrigued. 

He smiles “It was summer of 1955 when you first, when we met, your name was Audrey, Audrey Pine, you had been reassigned from the Scotland office to the Manchester one and they partnered you up with me.  At that point I was one of the most senior agents in the office. It wasn't hard or long before I feel in love with you, and you told me you loved me back, so I imagine it was the same, with you it was easy, I didn't have to lie, I didn't have to hide, to try and find excuses for the odd scar or bruise. I could just be.” Macy feels her breath getting caught in her throat, the thought, the idea that she might have gotten between a couple, torn apart a child’s family, “We never took the next step if you’re wondering, even when Clara thought so and kicked me out of the house. You just took me in, cleaned the shards of glass from my head, quite a temper that wife of mine had.” she knows that tone he tries to make it light again, make it sound like a joke, like something meaningless and stupid to care about. “ What happened after that?” she asks, he looks at her “Well, you let me stay at your apartment you told me it wasn't our time, and you were right about it, so I went back home, someone told her I was living in your home, she kicked me out, told me she’s going to leave me, for good. Her family sure had the money to get the divorce out. I would never see Carter again, I came back to your apartment, the door was open, the lock was broken, I called your name but you wouldn't answer,” he stops something that resembles a sob leaving his lips, “I found you dead in the living room,  I called in the agency, they told me one of the people I had arrested, a  rogue Soviet spy himself, found out about you, about who I was, I made the arrangements for a funeral for you and left went back home, I told Clara the truth, I explained everything to her, she let me stay until this whole thing was resolved, about a week after you died, Clara and Carter were returning from a doctor’s appointment Carter had, I was inside the house when I heard the gunshots from outside, Clara died instantly, she was shot in the head, Carter was shot twice on the back, one bullet was lodged in his lung the other on his spine.”

“That’s why you robbed those banks” she says, he looks up at her, “There was only one rehab center that would take Carter but after what had happened I was suspended, no paycheck no nothing. My wife’s family hated me, they thought I just kept ruining their daughter’s life till it led to her death, and they weren’t wrong, she was my salvation, at first, I was her destruction.” he stops talking the silence between them falling awkwardly.

Macy sees that he doesn't seem that willing to start talking  on his own, she wonders what she wants to know, she knows he got caught, she knows he got arrested and that he got stabbed, sitting back she realizes that she doesn't want to learn more about James, her mind goes back to Harry, her Harry probably loosing his mind, her Harry probably feeling guilty, “How did you became a whitelighter?” she asks, he looks up, his face darkening a little, “I wasn't going to, I was laying in my cell, dying of a ruptured kidney, fully prepared to tell the elders to go fuck themselves,  but then you came.” he turns fully towards her, his hands clutching his mug tightly, “You came to me, in my dream I think, you told me I have to take the deal, that this was our chance, this was our time. And I believed it, but I ended up in a bottle while he walked around with my face, my body getting to,” he stops “This is my future, I deserve that!” 

Macy shakes her head, “No, James, I’m sorry you went through all that, I really really am, but this, what you went through it isn't Harry's fault, you chose to be a whitelighter and that had consequences sure, horrible disgusting ones but...” she bites her lip, she is scared she might be overstepping a line right now,  she moves a little closer to him  reaching over for his hand, he looks away from her but she can see the tears shimmering in his eyes. “Run” he says, his voice low, rumbled “What?” he turns to her, looks her in the eyes, “The door is unlocked, run, get as far away from this place as possible.” Macy freezes for a moment she’s not sure what to do, should she believe him or not. She turns to the door and twists the knob, shocked when the lock clicks, “What about you?” she asks before she opens the door, “I’ll be fine, I always am.” 

Macy turns to the door and opens it, the air outside is cold, her feet tremble as she starts walking fast, the facade James put up for her falling, an old house, almost crumbling replaces the familiar manor, she’s almost at the corner just about to turn around and disappear for good but turns around, light comes from the large broken window in the first floor, a familiar figure watching her leave from behind the curtain.


End file.
